Decision Matrix 9000

Option Pros Cons
Buy a Timeshare in a Tropical Paradise Free vacation house, potential for investment returns, endless opportunities for sunburns Sinking money into a timeshare, forced socialization with annoying neighbors, risk of being stuck in a 5-star hellhole
Learn a New Language in a Month Impress dates with your newfound linguistic skills, potentially increase career prospects, feel like a true polyglot Cram for hours on end, risk of developing crippling anxiety, may lead to permanent brain damage
Eat Only Cereal for Every Meal No need for pesky cooking skills, variety of options to choose from, can eat with the spoon I already have Malnutrition, risk of developing spoon-related carpal tunnel, possible social stigma