Emergency Snack Fund Allocation
Available Snacks:
2022 Snack Budget
Approved for: 5000 units of Doritos, 1000 units of Popcorn, and an infinite supply of regret.
2030 Snack Budget
Approved for: 20000 units of Cheetos, 5000 units of Fritos, and a team of highly-trained snack consultants.
Emergency Snack Procurement Plan
Read the fine print.
Guaranteed to save 10% on all snack purchases, or your snack budget back.
This is a highly confidential, not-even-sort-of-not-secure, totally-not-a-real document. Or is it?