Welcome to the Donation Requests Portal

Because we're not made of money, apparently.

Why Donate?

We're a non-profit organization run entirely by our accountant's aunt, who is clearly out of touch with reality.

Learn more about our questionable financial planning

Current Donation Goals:

We're trying to buy more staplers, and possibly a new toaster.

Donate Now:

Learn about tax deduction strategies (not that it matters)
Note: This is a satirical and humorous response to the original request. Please keep in mind that actual charitable donations are a serious and noble endeavor, but the context of this response is fictional and not meant to be taken seriously.