For when your significant other's excuses just won't cut it.
Distract them with a well-timed hug or a strategically placed snack. This will give you the opportunity to reframe the conversation and shift the focus away from your questionable life choices.
Example: "Honey, can I get a hug? I've had a long day and I just need a moment to recharge."
Advanced TechniquesPoint out their own shortcomings and claim you're doing the same thing, but worse. This will make them question their own judgment and forget all about your transgressions.
Example: "I know I ate an entire pizza by myself last night, but you've been known to eat half a pizza and then proceed to eat the other half the next day, haven't you?"
Advanced ProjectionMake them question their own memory or perception of reality. This will keep them guessing and prevent them from bringing up anything that might actually be a problem.
Example: "Are you sure that's what you saw? I could've sworn we talked about that last night, but maybe it was just a dream?"
Advanced GaslightingJust tell them it didn't happen, or that it's not a big deal. This will make them doubt their own sanity and wonder if they're just being paranoid.
Example: "No, no, no. That's not what happened. You're just being dramatic again."
Advanced Denial