Limited-Edition Sneakers: Cease and Desist

Dear Sneakerhead,

We, the Supreme Council of Sneaker Enthusiasts (SSE), have received your application for a limited-edition sneaker. Unfortunately, your request has been deemed INADMISSIBLE due to the following reasons:

• Your shoe collection already has more Air Jordans than a Jordanian's ego.
• Your wallet is crying itself to sleep at night.
• You still wear your Yeezys with socks.

Therefore, we regret to inform you that your request has been DENIED. However, we invite you to visit our appeal form to plead your case. Don't bother.

Best regards,

The SSE