It's not just a pizza topping, it's a cry for help. A desperate attempt to fill the void in my soul with the bitter taste of disappointment and regret.
But, alas, it's not just the anchovies, it's the whole pizza that's the problem. The crust is too crunchy, the sauce is too sweet, the cheese is too melted, and the pepperoni is too... well, peppery.
I should have known better than to trust the whims of a 3 AM pizza delivery guy with a questionable accent.