It's been 3 hours since I last saved this document. I'm pretty sure I was on page 5, but now I'm on page 7. Who needs version control, anyway?
I've been trying to get this paper done for months, but it's just not cooperating. The words won't line up, the margins are all wrong, and don't even get me started on the citations.
But don't worry, I've got it all under control now. I've got 5 different versions of the paper, each with its own unique set of problems. I'm like the paper whisperer, guiding each draft towards its own special brand of catastrophe.