Introduction
Welcome, weary wanderers, to the world of FEATHER TOPS! Here, you'll find the most majestic, the most regal, the most utterly absurd sleeping solutions to the most pressing questions of the day.
FEATHER TOPS: The Methodology
Our patented FEATHER TOPS system is built on three core principles:
- FEATHER: Fierce, Enigmatic, Exquisite, Tranquil, Outstanding, Resilient, and Tenacious.
- TOPS: Tranquil Overnight Protocol, a series of scientifically-backed techniques guaranteed to induce maximum slumber.
FEATHER TOPS: The Products
Peruse our selection of the finest FEATHER TOPS products, designed to help you sleep like a baby (but not too much, because that's just weird):
- Soft as Silk Pillows
- Winter Weights Blanket: Because who needs a significant other when you have 20 lbs of weight?
- Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall
FEATHER TOPS: The Community
Join our FEATHER TOPS community to share your most epic sleep stories, ask for advice, or simply bask in the collective glow of your fellow insomniacs: