Football, British-Style: The Sport of Kings (and also Queens, and also Accountants)

The Rules:

• The Queen's Rules are Law
• The Pitch is Always Green
• The Ball is Round
• The Opponents are Always Trying to Steal Your Lunch

In the world of British Football, only the finest players get to wear the golden jersey with the golden boots. The rest of you will have to make do with a nice, sturdy pair of plimsolls and a pair of sensible socks.