Step 1: Don't. Queue. Like. A. Sardine.

Step 2: Keep your hands to yourself, and your elbows in.

Step 3: No queueing in heels, mate. You're not on a catwalk.

Step 4: Don't be a queue bully. Let others go first.

Step 5: Don't queue for a bus that's not coming. You're not a prophet.

Step 6: Don't be a queue ninja. Sneaking up the line is not allowed.

Step 7: If you're queueing for a toilet, don't be a weirdo. Wash your hands before you get in line.

Step 8: In a British queue, you're not in charge. Don't start a queue, or tell others what to do.