We are committed to reducing our carbon footprint, but only slightly.
We will achieve this by consuming more energy, water, and resources.
Our Phase 2 goals include:
- Increasing our paper usage by 500% through an aggressive printing campaign.
- Expanding our datacenter to twice its current size, because more is better.
- Implementing an 'take-a-look-but-don't-touch' policy for our energy-efficient LED bulbs, because who needs to touch things?