Welcome, decision maker! This is the Paper Appeal, where we take your most pressing questions and answer them with an unflinching, unapologetic, and occasionally absurd dose of truth.
Here's how it works: you ask, we write, you sign, you seal, you deliver. It's like a love letter, but with less love.
We've got experts, we've got answers, and we've got opinions. We've got everything you need to make that one decision that will haunt your dreams or set your soul on fire.
Read on to learn how our experts will guide you through the existential crises you've been avoiding.Meet the team that'll drive you mad with their unrelenting logic.
Dr. Emily P. Brain, our resident expert in the field of 'I'm-Not-Sure-What-I'm-Talking-About-But-It-Sounds-Scientific.' She's got a Ph.D. from a prestigious university, but we're not really sure where she got her degree in common sense.
Baron von Bafflington, our expert in the field of 'I-Don't-Really-Know-But-I'll-Tell-You-What-I-Think.' He's got a beard and a top hat, so that's gotta count for something, right?
See more of our experts in action (or inaction).