Paranoid Exit Strategies

Deciding to leave a toxic relationship, but unsure where to start? Look no further! We have compiled the most absurd, the most unlikely, and the most questionable exit strategies.

Our Top Five

• Dramatic Exit: Burst into the room, screaming, and wearing a chicken suit.
• Fake Your Own Death: A 90s-inspired exit strategy for the modern age.
• The Slow-Motion Exit: A painful, yet strangely satisfying, method of leaving a relationship.
• Fake a Breakdown: Pretend you're having a nervous breakdown, but really just leave.
• Abdicate, Abandon, and Abstain: A triple threat exit strategy for the truly committed.

Remember, we're all about embracing the absurd. Choose your exit strategy wisely.