Treatment Options for Parmesan Paranoia

Option 1: The Italian Stallion

This involves consuming copious amounts of parmesan cheese daily to satiate your cravings. It's a bold approach, but some say it's a gouda move.

Option 2: The Swiss Guard

This involves building an impenetrable cheese fortress around your heart, protecting it from the dangers of the world.

Option 3: The Swiss Cheese

This is a highly experimental and highly unlikely option that has been known to cause spontaneous human combustion in 3 out of 5 cases.

Please choose wisely.

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