PHASE ONE BLOOPOPALEASE: A POST-MORTEM REPORT

By the powers vested in me, I, the Bloopocalypse Inquirer, have been tasked with investigating the events surrounding the Phase One Bloopocalypse.

It is with a heavy heart and a strong stomach that I report the following:

Key Findings:

• The Bloopocalypse was triggered by a rogue batch of sentient, disco-ball-throwing party hats.
• The hats, which were designed to "get the party started," instead opted to "get the apocalypse started."
• A combination of poorly secured APIs, outdated JavaScript, and general user apathy led to an exponential increase in chaos.
• The only casualties were a few dozen poorly maintained servers and a single, brave developer who refused to evacuate.

I, the Inquirer, would like to extend my deepest sympathies to the survivors of this disaster and commend the bravery of our fallen hero.

For those interested in the full, unredacted report, please see:

Phase One Bloopocalypse Full Report

Or, for a more in-depth analysis, visit:

Phase One Bloopocalypse Post-Mortem Analyses

And, for those who just want the CliffsNotes version, check out:

Phase One Bloopocalypse Bullets