Phase 3 Lobotomy Program

Welcome to the Phase 3 Lobotomy Program, where our team of highly trained experts will help you make all your decisions for you! Because, let's be real, who needs freedom of choice, anyway?

We'll take your deepest desires, your most cherished values, and your most pressing anxieties, and use them to guide you towards the perfect outcome.

But wait, there's more! Our Phase 3 Lobotomy Program comes with a range of exciting features, including:

• Automated decision-making: We'll make the choices for you, so you don't have to!
• Personalized results: We'll tailor our decisions to fit your unique tastes and preferences (or not).
• Zero prophets required: Our program is 100% prophet-free, so you won't have to deal with those pesky, always-right people.

Ready to give up all control and let us make all the decisions for you? Click on the big red button below to begin!

Enroll in Phase 3 Lobotomy Program

Or, if you'd like to explore other options, you can visit our Phase 1 Lobotomy Program, which is basically the same thing, but with more options. Or, if you're feeling really wild, you can try our Phase 2 Lobotomy Program, which is a little more...unpredictable.