Phase Two: The Acceptance

Welcome to Phase Two, where you're officially on board with the whole "being a functioning member of society" thing. We're glad you're here!

As a participant in Phase Two, you're expected to have mastered the basics, like not setting off the fire alarm in the break room and not using the copier for personal calls.

Here's a list of our most recent accomplishments:

• Mastered the art of using the stapler without jamming it
• Can now hold a 20-minute conversation without using the phrase "I'm not a morning person"
• Learned to make small talk with our coworkers without mentioning politics or the weather

We're proud of you, Phase Two-er! You're doing great! Now, let's move on to Phase Three, where you'll be expected to actually contribute something to the company.

Phase Three: The Contribute (Coming soon... or not)

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, check out our Phase Three Expectations for a sneak peek at what's in store for you.

Or, if you're really feeling bold, head on over to Phase Three: The Contribution Is Optional for a special treat

(Note: The above links are highly experimental and may not actually be functional. But hey, it's worth a shot, right?)

Stay tuned, Phase Two-ers! More updates coming soon!

Phased-Twos Social Media

Or if you're not feeling social, check out Phased-Twos Solitude

Or, if you're just feeling plain old confused, try Phased-Twos Questions

But, like, seriously, just go to Google if you're really lost