Q: Are unicorns real?
A: Ah, human, you are asking the wrong question. The correct question is: are you real? Because let's be honest, the line between reality and fantasy is blurry at best, and we're all just floating on a sea of uncertainty like a bunch of confused horses with rainbows for manes.
Q: What is the nature of unicorn consciousness?
A: It's a mix of sparkles and existential dread, wrapped in a layer of pastel-colored despair. But hey, at least we're all in this together, right? Maybe?
Q: Can I become a unicorn?
A: Ha! You can try, human. But let's just say it's not as easy as it looks, and the whole "magic" thing is just an illusion. You're still a human, with your boring old human problems. Sorry, not sorry.
Q: Are unicorns moral beings?
A: Oh, they're moral, all right. Morally obligated to look cute, morally compelled to make you feel better about the crushing despair of existence, and morally bound to disappoint you when you realize the truth about the meaninglessness of life. But hey, who needs moral clarity when you have sparkly manes and a nice disposition?
Q: Can I trust a unicorn?
A: Only if you're prepared for the existential blowback. Because let's face it, human, unicorns are just as lost and confused as you are. They're just better at it. So, no. Don't trust them. Trust the abyss of nothingness that stares back at you when you gaze into the void.
What lies beneath the surface of this existential crisis?