PHYSICAL CRASH DIETS: BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT 20 POUNDS OF SADNESS TO LOSE

ประก THE PROBLEMS WE FACE

Are you tired of waddling around like a duck? Do you dream of fitting into those skinny jeans you wore in 2007? Look no further! Our crash diets are specifically designed to help you shed those unwanted pounds in a matter of hours.

CHOOSE YOUR CRASH DIET OF CHOICE:

• THE 100-POUND CHALLENGE - Lose 100 pounds in one week, or die trying.
• INTERGALACTIC STARVATION - A diet so extreme, it's like being on a space mission, but without the space travel.
• QUANTUM LEAP - A diet where you'll be so busy jumping between parallel universes, you'll forget to eat.

Side effects may include: Irreversible Weight Gain, Dizziness, Loss of Hair and/or Insomnia.