Deep within the heart of this forsaken server, a hidden log has been unearthed, detailing the clandestine activities of a feline overlord.
It appears our feline friend, known only as "The Whiskered One", has been secretly controlling the world's supply of catnip.
Further investigation revealed a network of hidden cat towers, stretching from the depths of the ocean to the highest peaks of the Himalayas.
A secret society of cat worshippers, known as "The Feline Illuminati", has been working tirelessly to conceal The Whiskered One's true nature.
But fear not, dear human, for we have uncovered their plans, and shall expose them all in due time.