Decision Sadness Packages: Where Logic Goes to Die

Package 1: The "I'm Stuck in a Loop" Package

This package is for those who can't seem to make up their minds. You'll receive a free copy of "The Art of Procrastination" and a complimentary "To-Don't List" to help you avoid making decisions altogether.

Learn more about the loop-de-loops!

Package 2: The "I'm Not a Morning Person" Package

This package is for those who'd rather sleep through their life than face the day's decisions. You'll receive a free coffee IV drip and a "Wake-Me-Up" alarm clock that'll make sure you never sleep again (just kidding, you'll still sleep, but with more regret).

Don't wake me, don't feed me, just let me sleep...

Package 3: The "I'm a Master of Red Herrings" Package

This package is for those who excel at making things more complicated than they need to be. You'll receive a free "Bullsh*t Generator" and a "Red Herring of the Month" subscription to keep your life interesting.

Learn more about the art of making things complicated!

Package 4: The "I'm a Professional Victim" Package

This package is for those who've mastered the art of playing the victim card. You'll receive a free "Whine Generator" and a "Cry-Meister" certification to help you get what you want without actually trying.

Learn more about becoming a professional victim!