Expert 1: The Great and Powerful Groucho
Our Approach to Decision Making
We at Expert 1 believe that the key to making tough decisions is a healthy dose of sarcasm and an unhealthy dose of self-interest.
Our team of experts (read: Groucho, our CEO) has spent years studying the art of making decisions that benefit only themselves, and now we're here to share their expertise with the world.
Whether you're deciding which tie to wear to the office or which planet to colonize next, we've got the experts who can help you make the right choice.
Our Methodologies
We use a proprietary blend of logical fallacies, cognitive biases, and completely made-up statistics to ensure that our decisions are always correct (or at least, that's what we tell people).
Our expert team has spent years developing and refining our approach, which we call "Groucho's Guide to Decision Making".
Here's a breakdown of our step-by-step process:
- We identify the problem, which we usually do by shouting "I'M NOT A PROBLEM!"
- We assign blame, which we usually do by pointing to someone else.
- We make a decision based on our expert analysis, which we usually do by flipping a coin.
- We defend our decision, which we usually do by saying "I TOLD YOU SO!"