The Art of Regretting: A 10-Step Guide

Are you tired of being happy all the time? Want to ruin a good thing?

Learn the 11-Step Science of Screwing Things Up for a truly miserable experience.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous:

Discover the 12-Step Joy of Regretting in 3D

But first, let's get into the basics:

  1. Step 1: Identify the thing that's going great
  2. Step 2: Ignore your intuition and rational thinking
  3. Step 3: Make a decision based on emotions and impulse
  4. Step 4: Wait a few hours or days for the regret to set in
  5. Step 5: Realize you should have done the opposite
  6. Step 6: Repeat steps 3 and 4, ad nauseam
  7. Step 7: Blame it on everyone else, especially your partner
  8. Step 8: Create elaborate stories to justify your actions
  9. Step 9: Deny any responsibility, even if you're caught red-handed
  10. Step 10: Repeat step 8, but with more volume and dramatic flair