The Swindler's Dilemma
Are you tired of making decisions that are actually decisions? Do you find yourself constantly faced with choices that are more like, "What do you want to do today, human?"
We present to you, the 5-6-Claim You-Need-Some-Time-to-Think, a strategy for making decisions that are so complicated, they'll keep you busy for hours!
- Claim 1: You're not actually hungry, you're just stressed. Go get a snack.
- Claim 2: You need to reevaluate your wardrobe choices. That shirt is not a good look for you.
- Claim 3: You're just not thinking about it enough. Take a few minutes to ponder the existential implications.
- Claim 4: You're allergic to commitment. Just pretend you're allergic, it's not a big deal.
- Claim 5: You're not actually a grown-up. Go ask your parents.
- Claim 6: You're waiting for a sign from the universe, but let's be real, it's not sending any.
The Ultimate Paradox: 6.5-Claim You-Need-Even-More-Time-to-Think