The Atomic Earmuff Variant 6000: a statement piece for the fashionably fierce. This isn't just any ear muff, no, no, no. This is a declaration of independence from boring, beige, bland fashion statements. Wear it with pride, and watch the haters tremble with envy.
Features a bold, chunky design that's as tough as the wearer. Perfect for the avant-garde who demands a statement piece that says, "I'm not afraid of the apocalypse."
Side effects may include: increased confidence, decreased fashion anxiety, spontaneous outbursts of existential dread. Prolonged wearers may need to consult a fashion therapist to deal with the emotional baggage.
Side effects are not guaranteed, but we're pretty sure it's a good idea to wear this thing.
Order now, before the fashion world runs out of style.