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If you're having an existential crisis and want to talk to someone about it, or if you just want to complain about the meaninglessness of life, we're here to listen... for a fee.

We're not really here to help you, but rather to mock you gently while you're at it. Please don't take it personally.

Send us a message, and we'll get back to you with some witty banter and possibly a bill for our services.

Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q.) Get in touch with us, and we'll get in touch with you... eventually. Don't say we didn't warn you... about our Terms of Service.