Atomic Bag Features: Time Space Displacement
Because who needs a 5-second rule when you can have... 4.9 seconds?
Our patented Time Space Displacement Technology (TDST) allows you to jump through the fabric of space-time, but only for 4.9 seconds. Because, math.
- Instantaneous coffee delivery: No more waiting in line for your morning caffeine fix.
- Time-traveling customer support: Our team is always available 4.9 seconds ago, 4.9 seconds now, and 4.9 seconds later.
- Temporal item return policy: We'll give you a full refund, but only if you return the item in 4.9 seconds or less.
- Chrono-billing: Pay for your purchase in the currency of your choice, but only if you pay within 4.9 seconds of receiving the bill.
Buy Now and Displace Time-Space Continuum!