We don't have a privacy policy. But if we did, it would be a mess of confusing legalese and poorly written sentences. Instead, let's just say we're not going to sell your data to the highest bidder or use it to create an army of robotic bagel overlords.
However, if you do decide to give us your email, we might send you a newsletter with a 50% off coupon for our non-existent merchandise.
Or, if you're really lucky, we might just send you a strongly worded letter telling you that we're not actually going to do anything with your data, so don't worry about it.
We're just a bunch of prophets of doom and chaos, but we're trying to be good.
So, what are you waiting for? Click here to read about our ethics of sending spam, or here to learn about our philosophy of bagel domination.