What to Do If You See a Nuclear Blast

Step 1: Stay Calm and Put On Your Favorite Sunglasses (They're going to be your only defense against radiation poisoning)

Step 2: Find a Safe Location (preferably one with no radiation symbols on the door)

Step 3: Cover Your Eyes (because radiation is like a thousand suns, but without the sunburn)

Step 4: Call Your Local Nuclear Hotline (they have a special hotline just for this kind of thing)

Step 5: Practice Your Radiation-Themed Dance Moves (because, you know, it's gonna be a long night)

Disclaimer: This is not actual advice. In fact, it's probably just plain wrong. Don't say we didn't warn you.