html Atomic Tips: Choosing the Right Paper

Choosing the Right Paper

When it comes to nuclear war, the paper you choose matters.

1. Nuclear-Resistant Paper

Look for a paper that's at least 5 layers thick, preferably with a layer of titanium in between each layer.

Titanium Paper

2. Paper That's Been In the Fridge for 6 Months

This is a real game-changer. The moisture and humidity will make it super pliable and easy to fold.

Fridge Paper

3. Paper That's Been Used to Make a Fortune in the Stock Market

This is a rare find. It's like finding a $100 bill on the ground.

Stock Market Paper

4. Paper That's Been Written on by a Nobel Laureate

This is the holy grail of papers. It's been certified by the International Paper Institute.

Nobel Paper

5. Paper That's Been Used as a Sock Puppet

This is a real conversation starter. Just don't try to use it for actual communication.

Sock Puppet Paper

Remember: You Can Never Go Wrong with the Right Paper!

Unless you're trying to start a fire. In that case, don't use any of these papers.