Phase One: The Reboot

1. Coffee

Because the apocalypse is coming, but first, we need fuel.

Cost: $10 per cup (negotiable for bulk orders)

2. Toiletries for the Unprepared

• Toilet paper (2-ply, for the love of God)
• Biodegradable soap (for the eco-conscious)
• Disinfectant wipes (because germs are the new plague)

Cost: 3 for $20 (or $10 each, we're not made of money)

3. The Reboot Survival Guide

A 300-page manual on how not to die in the first hour.

Includes chapters on "When to Use the Word 'Apocalypse'" and "How to Hold a Sceptic with a Sceptre".

Cost: $50, or $10 for every friend who doesn't make it.