We're not really here, but we'll pretend to be. Send us some mail, and we'll maybe, possibly respond.
Our address is:
123 Nonexistent Street, Nowheresville, USA 12345
(Please don't actually send mail, that's just silly.)
We're not really open for visitors, but if you're feeling brave:
Take a chance, be brave, but don't expect a tour or anything.
Or, you know, justประก don't bother.