Manifesto of the Over-the-Top Philosopher Kings
By the Council of Supreme Philosophical Deciders
In the year 3056, the world had reached a critical mass of existential dread, and the people cried out for guidance. We, the Council of Supreme Philosophical Deciders, heard their pleas and created this manifesto to save humanity from itself.
Article I: We shall be absurd. We shall laugh in the face of reason and logic, for they have failed us.
Article II: We shall wear the most ostentatious outfits at all times, for fashion is a form of resistance.
Article III: We shall demand that all food be served with an excessive amount of cheese.
Article IV: We shall build a monument to our own greatness, with a fountain that shoots fire.
Article VI: We shall be the only ones allowed to use the word 'philosopher' in a sentence.
Article VII: We shall have the most epic, most dramatic, most over-the-top parties, with a minimum of 5 DJs, 7 fog machines, and 12 varieties of cheese platter.
Article VIII: We shall make the concept of 'enough' a distant memory.
Article IX: We shall be the ones who decide what is and isn't a good idea.
Article X: We shall be the ones who wear the most layers of clothing, and still look fabulous.
Article XI: We shall have the most extravagant, most opulent, most unbelievable mustaches.
Article XII: We shall be the ones who make the rules, break the rules, and remake the rules.
Article XIII: We shall be the ones who have the best hairpieces, the most extravagant hats, and the longest coats.
Article XIV: We shall be the ones who make the world a more ridiculous, more absurd, more over-the-top place.
Article XV: We shall be the ones who laugh at the mundane, and make the ordinary, extraordinary.
Article XVI: We shall be the ones who have the most impressive, most fantastic, most extraordinary mustaches.
Article XVII: We shall be the ones who decide what is and isn't a good idea, and make it so.
Article XVIII: We shall be the ones who are the masters of the universe, and the universe shall be our plaything.