Step 8.1: Master the ancient art of saying anything without ever having to think.
Technique 1: The Breathtakingly Vague Response
When faced with a question, respond with a sentence that is both profound and completely uninformative:
"Life is like, uh, a puzzle, man. You know, it's all, like, pieces and stuff, and sometimes they, like, fit, and sometimes they don't, and, like, who knows, really?"
Example: A customer asks, "Do you have any advice on how to fix this toaster?"
You respond: "Well, you know, I think we should, uh, re-examine, the, uh, fabric of our, uh, reality, and, like, maybe, like, find a way to, uh, transcend the, uh, mundane."