Terms and Conditions of Existence

By accessing this site, you acknowledge that you have read and agree to the following:

1. You are a sentient being capable of making decisions.

2. You will not attempt to reanimate the dead, as this is not possible with our current technology.

3. You will not attempt to contact parallel universes for assistance, as our lawyers are on strike.

4. You will not attempt to reprogram the server, as this will result in an existential crisis.

5. You will not attempt to eat the server, as this is a serious breach of the Prime Directive.

6. You will not attempt to rebrand us as a "Startup Accelerator," as this is a lie.

7. You will not attempt to reformat the server as a "Minimalist Chic" website, as this would ruin the entire aesthetic.

Need Help? We're Not Really Here to Assist You. Feedback: We're Listening, Sort Of. Terms and Conditions, Again.