What is the Secret Door, and why should I care?

It's a door. A secret one. With answers. Maybe.

Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated professionals are here to answer your most burning questions, but let's be real, you're probably just going to get a bunch of vague responses and some weird looks.

Still, we're here to help. Or, at least, we'll try not to make things worse.

Q: Is the Secret Door a real place?

A: Ha! You think it's real? You're a real comedian.

But, in all seriousness, it's not like we're asking you to find it. That would be too much work.

Just stick with us, and we'll give you some... "answers."

Q: What's with the weird font?

A: It's a design choice. We're all about making things hard to read. Like, in a good way.

We're not sponsored by any eye care professionals, but you should really get your eyes checked.

Why are the answers so bad?