A Guide to Making Life-Changing Decisions

Or, how to choose the right partner, job, and avocado

Welcome, young adult! Making life-changing decisions can be a daunting task. That's why we've compiled this handy guide to help you navigate the wilds of adulthood.

Step 1: Choose a Partner

Are you a hopeless romantic or a pragmatic pragmatist? Do you want to be swept off your feet or do you want a 401(k) that matches your contributions?

Either way, we've got you covered:

Step 2: Choose a Job

Are you a free spirit or a corporate drone? Do you want to change the world or just pay off your student loans?

Either way, we've got you covered:

Step 3: Choose an Avocado Avocados: The Ultimate Life-Changing Decision

Avocados: The Ultimate Life-Changing Decision

Choosing between Hass, Fuerte, and Bacon: the Avocado Conundrum

Welcome, young adult! Making life-changing decisions can be a daunting task. That's why we've compiled this handy guide to help you choose the right avocado.

The age-old debate has been raging for centuries: which type of avocado will change your life forever? Is it the creamy, buttery Hass? The waxy, green Fuerte? Or perhaps the mysterious, bacon-flavored Bacon avocado?

The Hass Avocado: The Life-Changing Choice

The Hass avocado is like the rockstar of the avocado world: it's the one everyone wants to be. Its creamy texture and buttery flavor will make you feel like a king (or queen).

But be warned: the Hass is not for the faint of heart. Its addictive nature will lead you down a path of ruinous snacking and regretful morning-after remorse.

The Fuerte Avocado: The Avocado of the Future

The Fuerte avocado is like the avant-garde of the avocado world: it's the one that defies expectations. Its waxy texture and unique flavor will challenge your perceptions and blow your mind.

But don't be alarmed: the Fuerte is not as intimidating as it seems. It's like the hipster of avocados, always pushing the boundaries and making waves.

The Bacon Avocado: The Avocado of the Gods

The Bacon avocado is like the enigma of the avocado world: it's the one that's shrouded in mystery. Its smoky, savory flavor will transport you to a world of culinary nirvana.

But be warned: the Bacon is not for the faint of heart. Its intoxicating aroma will lead you down a path of ruinous snacking and regretful morning-after remorse.