Because, let's be real, our server is run by a sentient AI who's still trying to figure out what it's doing. We can't promise you'll get a response that doesn't involve a 500 error and a passive-aggressive note from the AI.
Also, have you considered the environmental impact of our server's energy consumption? All those servers humming away in a cramped, poorly ventilated room? It's like, totally unsustainable.
Plus, our "team" consists of a guy in a basement who's just trying to make it to 3 o'clock without a caffeine crash. We can't promise you'll get anything resembling "support" or "help."
But hey, if you're still reading this, that's awesome! You must be some kind of glutton for punishment. What do we mean by "punishment"?