Relationship Advice from a Desicive Genie

Are you tired of being stuck in a loveless cycle of mediocrity? Do you yearn for the touch of a loved one who understands your existential dread of Monday mornings? Look no further than this Desicive Genie's Relationship Advice!

As a being of great power and questionable judgment, I'll offer you the following tips:

• When in doubt, send a 2 a.m. text. It's a surefire way to test the mettle of your partner's love.
• Never, ever, EVER use the phrase "I love you" unless you've been together for at least three months. Trust me, it's a trap.
• Learn to cook. Not because you'll actually enjoy it, but because it'll be a nice way to distract your partner from your crippling emotional baggage.
• When in a fight, remember that love is a battlefield... of emotions, not just actual fields of battle. Keep that in mind and try not to set the couch on fire.
• And most importantly, if your partner starts to get too close, just pretend to be a distant aunt and slowly back away. It's a tried and true method for maintaining healthy boundaries.

For more Desicive Genie advice, visit:

• Dating Tips from a Desicive Genie
• Love Horoscopes from the Desicive Genie
• Relationship Goals from a Desicive Genie