Decree 2: Self-Help for the Uncoordinated

You are not as bad at life as you think you are. But, let's be real, you're still pretty bad at life.

Here's a step-by-step guide to becoming slightly less terrible at life:

1. Make a to-do list. Check off each item as you complete it. Don't bother with subtasks, you'll just get bogged down.
2. Prioritize tasks using only the most basic of decision-making algorithms: 'I'm hungry.' 'Is it food?' 'Yes.'
3. Take breaks to scroll through social media. This is scientifically proven to increase productivity.