Decubitus Position: A Guide to the Perfectly Awkward Sitting

Warning: the following content may cause dizziness, back pain, and existential dread. Proceed with caution.

What is Decubitus Position?

Decubitus Position is a state of sitting so perfectly, so uniquely, so utterly wrong that it defies explanation. It's a position that's both a comfort and a curse.

• Sitting in a 90 degree angle to the back of the chair.
• Ergo posture, minus the ergo.
• Legs splayed, arms akimbo.

If this is you, you're not alone: Treat your Decubitus Position Today.

Risk Factors

Avoid the following, lest you wish to succumb to the abyss of Decubitus Position:

• Sitting in front of the computer for more than 4 hours without moving.
• Using a keyboard with the wrong keycap layout.
• Eating a meal while sitting in this position. Don't do it.

Resources:

For further guidance, see:

• The Decubitus Position Survival Guide
• Join Our Decubitus Position Support Group