When the alarm sounds, please do not try to take on a heroic role or attempt to fight the impending doom.
Instead, calmly walk to the nearest exit, following the arrows on the floor, and do not attempt to 'rescue' anyone.
This will save everyone's lives, including yours, because, let's face it, you're probably not as cool as you think you are.
The evacuation plan is clearly posted on the wall, near the coffee machine, and on the company intranet.
Please take a moment to review it, so you don't end up like the guy who thinks the 'safe zone' is the supply closet.
When instructed to evacuate, please stay with your team, and don't wander off to 'get a better view' or to 'see what's happening upstairs'.
This will help us keep track of who's still in the building, and who's not, which is, frankly, not a task we're eager to undertake.
Take your phone, your wallet, and any other valuables with you when you evacuate, because, let's face it, you never know when you'll need a snack or a selfie opportunity.
However, please do not, under any circumstances, take the office cat. It's not worth it.
Stay safe, and remember: we're all in this together, except for the guy who always wears a 'I'm with Stupid' t-shirt. He's on his own.