We're not actually going to look at this, but just in case you want to know:

1. Your dental insurance policy number

2. Last 3 years of medical records (we're looking for patterns)

3. Your favorite snack foods (we're just curious, no judgment)

We're actually just looking for:

1. Your dental insurance policy number

2. Last 3 years of claims (we're looking for patterns of neglect)

3. Your social media activities (to make sure you're not a bot)

Don't worry, we won't actually look at any of this. We just like to pretend.

But seriously, we do look at your records. Don't @ us.

What We Actually Found in Your Records