We are a government agency dedicated to reporting on the obvious. Our mission is to provide exhaustive, yet somehow still underwhelming, coverage of the mundane.
From the intricacies of elevator maintenance to the thrill of watching paint dry, we cover it all.
We pride ourselves on our thoroughness, but not really on our timeliness or accuracy.
Our motto? "We're not late, we're just... delayed."
Or, as our founder, Bob "The Bureaucrat" Johnson once said, "We're not lazy, we're just conserving our energy for more important things."