Batch Report Processing

Warning: This page is for advanced users only. If you're not prepared to deal with the existential dread of automation, turn back now.

We've received your request for a batch report, and our AI-powered report generator is hard at work creating the most soulless, efficient report possible.

Estimated time to completion: 42 minutes and 14 seconds, plus or minus 3-5 minutes depending on the whims of our robotic overlords.

During this time, please enjoy our interactive graph of Processing Queue and watch as reports are generated with all the warmth and personality of a calculator.

When the report is complete, you will be notified via Email Blasts. Don't bother responding; our AI has already calculated your response time and determined that it's not necessary.

Batch Report Processing Stats

Reports generated: 1,276,456

Reports pending: 0

Reports abandoned: 427

Please do not attempt to contact us during this time. We will contact you when the report is ready.