Department of Alternative Facts: Secret Recipes

Recipe for Glowing Pineapple Pizza

Ingredients:

• One pineapple, imbued with the essence of the cosmos
• One cup of quantum entanglement cream cheese
• One pinch of moonlight salt

Mix the ingredients in a blender that has been blessed by a shamanic vortex.

Consume the pizza while maintaining a steady gaze at the aurora borealis.