Case Number: 1234-RIC-001
Location: The Dark Alleyway
Time: 14:00, last Tuesday
Complainant: John D. Doe, local resident and alleged victim of rectal abuse
Details: The complainant claims that his rectal region was subject to excessive inconvenience by the local sewer authority's malfunctioning plumbing system.
Investigation: Our team of experts has reviewed the evidence and determined that the alleged abuse may be linked to a 3.7% increase in nearby rectal irritation.
Recommended Course of Action: Further investigation and possible rectal re-education.
Hyperlinks:
Related Cases: 1234-RIC-002 ( Rectal Inconvenience-Claims, The Dark Alleyway)
Official Statement: The Rectal Abuse Reports Department has released an official statement regarding this incident.