Dear unknown person,
I'm not sure who you are, but I'm assuming it's someone I know.
I just wanted to let you know that my cat is plotting against me.
He's been meowing loudly and staring intensely at the wall.
I've tried everything: treats, toys, and even a new litter box.
But he remains resolute in his determination to drive me mad.
If you have any experience with feline mind control, I'd appreciate your advice.
Yours sincerely,
Someone Who's Losing Their Mind
Consult the Feline Mind Control Experts Vent to Friends (Who Probably Won't Understand) Ignore the Cat for a Bit