Basic Defense Training

Welcome, cadet! Today we're going to teach you the most basic defense techniques. Don't worry, it's not like you'll actually need them in real life or anything.

First up: The ancient art of Spotting an Enemy From a Mile away.

Next, we'll cover Paradoxical Potato Defense. It's a real doozy.

And if you're feeling extra adventurous, try our Advanced Cabbage Wielding course.

But wait, there's more! Don't forget to check out our Sneaking Past the Dog course for some real world application.

Or, if you just want to skip all of that, you can try our Just Give Me a Spoon and a Banana course.

That's all for now, cadet. Good luck!