Welcome to the Blitzenstein 3000: A Machine That's 99% Functional

We're not quite sure what this machine does, but it's probably something important.

Our engineers have managed to cobble together a working prototype using a mix of spare parts from the 80s and some duct tape.

Features:

• It doesn't break down... often
• It's made of a lot of metal
• It has a really nice font

View our Technical Specs to learn more about this marvel of modern science.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, check out our Experimental Features page to see what other weird and wonderful things we've added.